life's like this - avianto's journal

Here I am in Berlin. More lost than ever. It’s rainy and grey today, so is my feeling. Sinked and drowned. *Sigh*.

Bring back those good ol’ days
Nothing feels right, nothing ever goes my way
I threw my future away
Now I walk alone out here in the cold…
Wandering astray
Where’s my future?
Gonna need a home
You’d expect the same, now wouldn’t you, wouldn’t you?

Your journey back to birth its haunting you its haunting you
Your departure from the earth, its haunting you, its haunting you

Lyric from Bug Eyes by Dredg

I will be moving to Berlin tomorrow afternoon. Not because I’ve got a job there, not because I am bored with Lübeck but because I am simply broke. I am still looking for a job now (Here’s my resume in case you or somebody you know interested on hiring me.), so I don’t have regular income. I am practically supporting myself by doing some freelance works, not much but sufficient enough to maintain my survival for a couple of months. But it will be painful if I have to pay rent also. So with the courtesy of my best friend / Read more …

This year I become one of the honorary judge for Bubu Awards v.04. Again. Remember 2003? Two years has been passing and to no one surprise, nothing actually change or improve with most of the participants. I know that two years in this digital era is just a blink of an eye but c’mon, where is the improvement? Let’s go back in history… Why 2000? I’ve been involved in web development area since 1995 (10 years? Wow…). I’ve seen the rise and the fall and the survival of dotcom. I’ve been in this environment too long for not noticing the / Read more …

I love London. Been there twice in my life and I loved every moment of it. Such a vibrant city and since I always love public transportation (C’mon, it saves me from driving for hours. Driving is killing us, people), I really enjoyed riding the Tube. Sometimes I even took a ride from the farthest station on one side to the farthest station on the other side just for the sake of it. And I love the building, the park (Hyde Park is amazing!), the small alleys (with some ghost stories accompanied many of them) and don’t forget the history / Read more …

I never considered myself as a “lucky person”. Of course, I believe that luck plays important factor in life but for me, it probably SEP. I am not complaining here but it seems like some people recognized my hard work as a chain events of compiled luck. I wish that was true but no, it never work that way with me. I am becoming what I am now is nevertheless a compilation of smart work. Luck probably plays some part on it but it never become a major element. People tend to measure by the result but they usually never / Read more …